我慎重考慮要不要把這篇丟上來,

到目前唯一一篇對象不同的。

 

 

   前陣子忽然醒覺到,                                                          
                                                                               
   我的年紀已經追上了妳的二分之一了。                                          
                                                                               
   什麼叫「長大後時間過的會特別快」,也慢慢的感受到了。                        
                                                                               
                                                                               
   因為開始必須把時間分送給別人,工作、親人、朋友、伴侶,                      
                                                                               
   所以自己剩下的時間越來越少,                                                
                                                                               
   然後猛一醒悟時已經又不知道流逝了多少時間。                                  
                                                                               
                                                                               
   對於這些接受我分送時間人的人們,                                            
                                                                               
   說不希望他們同等的回報是矯情了些;                                          
                                                                               
   但說真的,                                                                  
                                                                               
   也沒有必然要從他們身上得到些什麼,畢竟這也是甘願的選擇。              

 

      
                                                                                                                                                
   村上龍說過:                                                                
                                                                               
   「我們藉由發掘跟別人的不同來確定自己的存在。」                              
                                                                               
   說真的,                                                                    
                                                                               
   我們好像也必須藉著別人的掛心跟懷念來肯定自己的價值。

              
   這種心情你很清楚的曾經傳遞給我過,                                          
                                                                               
   但我好像沒有很清楚的回應過你。

 

                                                   
                                                                               
   我在想你有沒曾經很難過的找不到自己,                                        
                                                                               
   面對著有時認不清楚妳的外婆、這個自己照顧著自己的家庭,                      
                                                                               
   跟看似不太關心這一切的我。                                                  
                                                                                                                                                
   無論找不找到的答案是什麼,                                                  
                                                                               
   可是我們都還是很努力的想盡辦法做著自己,                                    
                                                                               
   然後暗自期待別人會將這些放在心上、收藏在某個角落。                          
                                                                               
                                                                               
      何謂伴侶                                                                 
                                                                               
            從看著、牽著,然後抱著。                                           
                                                                               
      何謂親子                                                                 
                                                                               
            從抱著、牽著,然後看著。                                           
                                                                               
                                                                               
     無論如何,到最後這些關係總有離合,                                        
                                                                               
     我們也只能懷念及感恩著這些曾在身邊佔有一席之地的人們,                    
                                                                               
     繼續努力的為這些人曾經為我付出走著、做著、分享著。                                                                                         
                                                                               
     所以我是真的感受得到的,                                                  
                                                                               
     有關於我現在可以做的可以說的或擁有的一切。                                
                                                                               
     如果我曾經做了什麼或影響過別人什麼而那些是好的,                          
                                                                               
     我覺得那是因為妳在我身後看著我的關係。                                    
                                                                               
                                                                               
     我對於妳曾經給過我的深深感謝,                                            
                                                                               
     對於我所還沒能讓你感受到的我的感謝也希望你可以理解,                      
                                                                               
     我很抱歉,但我很感謝,而且我很愛妳。                                      
                                                                               
                                                                               
     我會繼續努力的做著我認為正確的事情。                                      
                                                                               
                                                                               
     母親節快樂。                                               

 

 

 

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